Right, so, the other 10% chance thing happened; London Expo filled up before they reached my application in the queue for tables. Oh well.
There isn't really much reason for me to go without a table - I mean, I guess it'd be pretty cool to meet some of the Portal fandom people if any of them are going? But finding people in a crowd of that size seems like a tall task. On top of paying the entry fee.
Sooo I might scrap London plans and hop across the Atlantic to New York instead. Still all a bit in the air though. Just an idea I'm playing with.
I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm a bit relieved about Expo. I'm not in the mood to drop any money on my comic at the moment; honestly I am not in the mood to even think about my comic at the moment and it's probably going on indefinite hiatus. I do genuinely apologise to those of you who read and enjoy it, and I feel guilty, but I don't see the point of doing something I don't enjoy in my spare time. Except, you know, things you have to do, like groceries and laundry and whatever. But the art I do in my spare time should be for fun or for study and I shouldn't feel so negatively about it.
I never really had much confidence in Alter - I always had huge problems trying to convince people to read it because, honestly, I don't think I would have read it myself. I don't want to spend money printing it or promoting it because I, myself, feel like it's a waste. So it's probably time to move on and see if I can come up with something I do have confidence in. Something that's me, not a derivative as hell generic mecha thing.
I'm in a strange period of my life right now. I'm rediscovering myself and, for lack of a better expression, doing the growing up I wasn't able to do when I was a teenager. The deciding and being proud of who I am bit.
I will, of course, keep drawing, even if I don't draw my comic anymore. I will always draw - drawing is me and I am drawing, that's one I'm certain about. And I hope some of you, even if not all, will continue to follow me as I continue exploring.